“I felt in need of a great pilgrimage so I sat still for three days.” -Kabir
I love koan-like statements like this one by the mystic poet and saint Kabir, because they help me to keep questioning the outrageous ideas that my analytical mind comes up with to “solve” the questions of my heart and soul. Like the woman in this hilarious video called “It’s Not About The Nail”, my mind is sometimes like a guy trying to solve a problem that cannot be solved.
Like the fellow who lost his keys a mile back, and is now searching for them under a street lamp, because the light is brighter there, I simply have not found my logical mind to offer much solace to me when I have lost my center.
What does seem to help more than anything, is slowing down and being with myself, so that I can lean into the feelings that arise. Yes, this is totally counter-culture, and even subversive, because it goes against the insidious conditioning through marketing and media to keep on the move and book the next big event or destination or just to keep so busy that you no longer realize you have lost your center. Or it could be as benign as calling a friend or going online to find an answer that can only be found in your deep heart. You talk it out, and may feel temporarily better, but often more confused, as now you are dealing with someone else’s opinion.
The statement I hear the most from clients who come to me for help is “I feel so overwhelmed. I just don’t know what to do.” When I ask with whom they have spoken about their dilemma, the extroverts have a long list, and often, the introverts have not even told anyone, but may have written in their journals about their pain and struggle for a very long time, but with no relief.
I am not saying that speaking with a friend or therapist or writing in your journal is not a good thing, but it does not substitute for putting the pen or phone down, and turning inward to listen to the still small voice within, that is buried under the rubble of a chaotic life.
Stop and Drop and Smile
When you stop and drop into the moment, you become a portal through which love flows.
You re-associate to yourself, and can begin to feel your own energy and emotions that are actually the universal energy pulsating through you.
We are not conditioned to do this, but to attach to outside sources of energy. When we do the work to free ourselves of our conditioning, and train ourselves to stop and drop, we open our lives to new possibilities, and we become masters of the moment. This brings its own rewards, and we begin to experience more joy and pleasure by allowing the energy of life to move through us.
Human beings need a slowed down pace to avoid soul lag, a condition in which the spirit of a person cannot keep up with the pace of the mind, body, and technology. Soul lag, like jet lag, where the body does not keep pace with the time zones, is uncomfortable and is an obstacle to experiencing our center.
I see that in our ADHD culture, many people have a fear of slowing down, and some have even told me that they are terrified about what they would find in they stopped and dropped into their inner world. That is why it’s so important to stop, drop and smile. Say hello to yourself. Ahhhh. You may find sad, mad, glad, afraid or shameful feelings down in there, but first, smile. You are meeting the only person you can ever possibly count on to be there no matter what, as every other human being could die or leave you.
It’s you in there, and it may take a while for you to feel comfortable or safe inside. I promise you however that if you do this over and over, with intention, and make sure that you also smile, as you would when you meet a good friend, that you will befriend yourself, and learn how to find answers to long held questions, and to feelings of being overwhelmed, for they are all in there.
Live the Questions
When I was in college and questioning the beliefs and values I had grown up with, I discovered a poet named Rainer Maria Rilke and printed out this incredible quote by him that I have carried with me since (for 47 years!):
“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”
Now, when I must face some dilemma or ambivalence or uncertainty, I stop, drop, and smile, and feel the blissful feeling of being connected to my own center. I have learned to trust that there is infinite wisdom inside me, and I just breathe, into the center of my chest, toward the back. I ask for the guidance and courage to live into the questions that are up for me, and sometimes I get an immediate answer. At other times, it may be a few days, but usually not very long, before I am more clear. Often the answers come while I am doing something mindless and not engaged with my intellect.
Try this, no matter what is weighing on your heart. There is really nothing to fear, for truth inevitably sets us free.
May I learn to drop into my own center for the answers that are true for me.
May I be patient with my questions, and trust the guidance of my own soul.
May I have the courage to act accordingly, at the right time for all.
