“Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence.” Erich Fromm
I want to share a story about a man who taught me about love in the face of the ocean of suffering of humanity. He is one man, among many men and women, children and animals, who have been sacred teachers to me about what it means to love. I use the term “God” in this story to refer to the supreme source of all that is, that is beyond gender and form.
A teacher of love
Many many years back, I was earnestly studying the Course in Miracles and was guided to work with a holy man named Tom, who lived and breathed the Course as if everything were truly the Divine in form. While sitting in his waiting room, I picked up Time magazine from the coffee table. On the cover was a photograph of some horrific massacre, with broken and mutilated bodies of women and children. I began to cry and cry and did what I always did at such moments—I tried to make sense of the horror, which was not possible.
Tom walked out at that moment and simply looked at me with eyes exuding love. I held up the magazine and said, “How can these things happen? It makes no sense. How can a loving God allow this? This breaks my heart.” He just looked at me. I felt a mix of outrage, sadness, and longing. I wanted him to tell me what sense it made.
As usual, Tom went into meditation after he sat down in his chair, inviting me to do the same. My heart was wide open, and without much resistance I closed my eyes. Being in his presence, I could always go deeper, and found myself leaving the images of the mangled bodies behind and dropping into an even deeper sadness than before.
I felt my own sadness, my own horror at feeling separated from God. I had felt it on and off my entire life, and the images in Time magazine had triggered that ancient question about whether God was a loving God, one I wanted to stay connected to or not. It was all mixed in with my feelings toward my own father, for whom I had many confusing feelings growing up. It is a challenge for the mind to realize fully that both good and evil are contained in God. In Isaiah 45:7, God says, “I form the light and create darkness. I make peace and create evil.”
I cried deeply, and because I was with Tom, I knew it was good. He was one of those men in my life whose very presence was allowing me to choose a loving God. He began to speak about all those souls in the picture who had given their lives, so that I could experience this moment of awakening. He said if we could see from the eyes of God, we would understand how they agreed to their fate, for reasons that are beyond our own capacity to understand.
He also said that what happened to those innocent people was a co-creation, and not simply a harsh God inflicting pain. And he said that the sadness and anger I felt did not help these souls, and in fact, did not move anything in the direction I would want the world to go in. It gave me the opportunity to feel deeply, out of which I would eventually find a way to be of service. He invited me to release all my feelings and the story I had made up and thank them and see them in all the brilliance of their lighted souls.
Tom invited me to return to love. I am reminded of this beautiful quote by the author L. R. Knost: “Do not be dismayed by the brokenness of the world. All things break. And all things can be mended. Not with time, as they say, but with intention. So go. Love intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally. The broken world waits in darkness for the light that is you.” I did just that.
Upon reflection, Tom was teaching me the path of the heart, and that very day, I set an intention to devote my life to my own liberation from suffering and that of as many people I could touch. He was one of those teachers of love who taught me to feel fully by dropping into my heart, so that I could surrender all in the service of love. He showed me a way to accept everything and receive the gift of an ever-widening circle of embrace with the world.
Transmuting suffering through love
We all have teachers of love, and some of them come in the form of adversary, or very challenging family members, spouses, illnesses…..pandemics…..there are so many ways we can learn about love on planet earth. If we could take the God’s eye view and see what the possibilities are upon each encounter, for awakening the full brilliance of our souls, we would not want to miss even a moment of our lives.
The wise and gentle teacher, Thich Nhat Hanh, another teacher of love who died a month ago, says of suffering: “The ocean of suffering is immense, but if you turn around, you can see the land. The seed of suffering in you may be strong, but don't wait until you have no more suffering before allowing yourself to be happy. When one tree in the garden is sick, you have to care for it. But don't overlook all the healthy trees. Even while you have pain in your heart, you can enjoy the many wonders of life – the beautiful sunset, the smile of a child, the many flowers and trees. To suffer is not enough. Please don't be imprisoned by your suffering.”
Right in the center of the chest is a sacred portal of pure love that is available to us all the time. The Sacred Heart is considered a holy chamber inside you where true prayer takes place. It is a state of deep peace and quiet, connected to Source, and being able to enter this space brings with it the gifts of alchemy, where you transmute your suffering and sorrow, your fear and anger.
When the Sacred Heart is activated in a person, in spite of and in part due to suffering and circumstances, there is a profound shift in perception. There is a spiritual flowering that is true enlightenment, and you begin to see the Divine everywhere. Here is a meditation to help you touch into your Sacred Heart.
This seeing with the eyes of the heart is a choice we make that entirely shifts our destiny. Tibetan Buddhist Master Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche, says of this choice, “We must continue to open in the face of tremendous opposition. No one is encouraging us to open and still we must peel away the layers of the heart.”
Imagine what this world would be like if every human being actively focused on opening their heart. Just take a moment and imagine that. No more war, greed, murder, crime, hunger—-the end of suffering as we know it. So much love would be generated on planet earth that wounds would heal, within human beings and on the earth itself. We have that capacity within us in this very moment.
May all beings learn to see with the eyes of the heart.
May all beings realize their power to transmute suffering through love.
May the hearts of all beings eventually flower fully.
Such a beautiful gift of personal writing on this Valentine’s Day. Thank you Kathleen. So inspiring. So clear.
Thank you Kara. Pass it on.
Thank you with this beautiful story that resonates with me completely. I have learned the greatest lessons of love during the most difficult times of my life. I have found Kindness is the greatest gift we have to hurting hearts and a broken world.
You are most welcome Lorraine. Kindness is the great balm.
I was truely touched by your story and writing for Valentine’s Day. It opened my heart. To love intentionally inspite of appearances or curcumstances was a healing reminder gift to me.