“It is not revolutions and upheavals that
clear the road to better days,
but revelations, and lavishness of
someone’s soul inspired, and ablaze.”
~ Boris Pasternak, After the Storm
I spend a great deal of time in coffee shops these days, writing, and I am at times privy to some juicy conversations. The other day I heard 3 men chatting, or shall I say, grousing.
The first says, “All I ever hear is people complaining about what is wrong with this country lately.”
“Yeah,” chimes in his buddy. “Seems no one has anything good to say these days. Everyone has such a sour attitude. If you can’t come up with a better idea, then stop complaining.”
“Yeah,” adds the 3rd man. “I am sick and tired of all the whining. No wonder we have no real leaders in this country any more. They are all in cahoots, and the one rising up is a super jerk, because people have forgotten how to think for themselves in this country.“
Seems these 3 fellows have it all figured out. They have complained, pointed a figure, and blamed others for what they themselves are doing. They are caught in the blindspot of their own perception, and are the perfect example of what they are saying bothers them. This blindspot is the illusion of consciousness we all deal with when we fall into the trap of believing we have nothing to do with what is going on “out there,” as if we are hapless victims in a pre-ordained universe.
If it's worth complaining about, you must believe something can be done about a situation, which makes you a co-creator. Your complaining changes nothing. Your vision and willingness to respond to the moment from a place of calmness and love could make all the difference.
I tell the couples I work with all the time, “There is no place for complaining in your relationship. You need to turn your complaints into requests.” In fact, if you are inclined to do so, ask yourself first whether the thing you were about to complain about is a disowned trait of your very own.
Several years ago, a pastor in St. Louis came up with a brilliant idea and created 
a Complaint Free World movement. I purchased 100 bracelets and gave them to family, friends and clients. The idea is that keep the bracelet on one arm for 21 days, which is the time it takes to break a habit. If you complain or say something negative (thoughts do not count) you had to change the bracelet to the other arm and begin again from day one.
I was amazed at how few people took up the challenge in earnest, because it is doggone difficult. The couples I worked with usually got caught up pointing out when their partner complained, which meant they had to change the bracelet to the other arm. There is that blindspot again, that forgetting that the outer world is a mirror to your inner world—that what rubs you the wrong way is really a disowned part of you being reflected back.
It took me 81 days to keep that bracelet on the same wrist! I began again on day 18 when I “slipped,” but it was worth it. I became far more aware of this all too common tendency of human beings to project negativity into the world. Writing this now is reminding me of the commitment I made to free myself of complaining, as I have found myself making negative comments about the political race for power by certain individuals I will not mention here.
Let your own tendency to grouse, gossip and lack gratitude become a revelation right now. Let your soul be ablaze with the desire to foster positivity and goodness, rather than the same old same old. Let this amazing blogpost by my friend Jean Zunk: How Walmart Taught Me My Life Purpose, become an inspiration to you to go make a difference everywhere you show up. When I read it, I cried, then wrote Jean and thanked her. Such willingness to bare her soul, and turn a tough situation into an opportunity to make her world a hall of love!
Things you can do to ditch the negativity trap:
- Use angel cards or any similar “tool” to point you in the direction of positivity, and take it out in
to your day. Today I picked “inspiration,” so my intention was to inspire as many people as possible in an authentic way. - Read something uplifting to start your day (I still use “A Pocketful of Miracles” by Joan Borsencko ) and carry the energy of that thought out into your world.
- Decide that you will see something beautiful in every person you encounter, and if you run into any big challenges, do your best to remember that s/he was a helpless child at one time.
Remember, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle,” as Plato said!
