I believe it is essential on the spiritual path to have true friends, for the loneliness we would otherwise suffer would be too great to bear. The philosopher Aristotle called friendship the art of holding up a mirror to each other’s souls. Emerson spoke of its two pillars of truth and tenderness, and Helen Keller said, “Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light.”
I have found that to be true in this life, and have been blessed with some deep soul friends who are still walking with me. Rumi and Hafiz, the Persian mystics, speak of the Friend in their ecstatic poetry, alluding to the divine qualities of this most sacred relationship.
The mystery and soul-sustenance of friendship comes vibrantly alive in the masterful book, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom, by John O’Donohue. Anam cara is Gaelic for “soul friend,” and his words eloquently paint the picture of what this kind of friendship is about:
In this love, you are understood as you are without mask or pretension. The superficial and functional lies and half-truths of social acquaintance fall away, you can be as you really are. Love allows understanding to dawn, and understanding is precious. Where you are understood, you are at home. Understanding nourishes belonging. When you really feel understood, you feel free to release yourself into the trust and shelter of the other person’s soul… This art of love discloses the special and sacred identity of the other person. Love is the only light that can truly read the secret signature of the other person’s individuality and soul. Love alone is literate in the world of origin; it can decipher identity and destiny.
Do you have friends who have had a significant part in your identity and destiny? Yes, we can actually experience the loveseed of another human being in deep friendship, for Love recognizes the Source of things.
A life without friendship is a bleak landscape that can turn a person bitter, away from innocence. We are not meant to walk this world alone, and every aspect of our being, from the vitality of our bodies to the brightness of our souls, is nourished by true friendship. Friendship is the most solid foundation for a romantic relationship, and the cultivation of a deep and abiding friendship can indeed be considered a spiritual practice.
