I have had a long slumber, in the dark of Portland winter since flying out from Virginia last week. My grandson Jack and I made snow angels, watched movies, colored and glued stuff and played games and had a snow ball fight where aliens invaded. As you can see, my third eye opened from so much sleep, and no one can get Jack to smile if he doesn’t want to.
I understand completely, as this has been a time when I was not willing to smile on command either. I let go of writing my blog and newsletter nearly entirely, for a long period of time, as I was so fully consumed with the experience of life, that I had no inclination nor the time to write about it. Here in Portland, I let go of the strain of 2021 by simply being, rather than doing.
No more homage to the god of productivity!!!
Reflecting upon 2021
2021 was a time of huge shifts and changes in my dharma, in large measure due to introducing Ketamine and psychedelic integration into my life’s work.
In March, the mighty Kali arrived, turning my entire world inside out. Up at the crack of dawn for the first 3 months, Kali's blend of fierce and tender has added so much texture to an already rich life. Much of the Spring is but a dreamy memory as I managed with total sleep deprivation to focus on finding a new home and more room for gatherings. Kali and I made the move, and I set the intention to create a temple.
Learning that my mother had advanced lung cancer changed the Summer somehow, and I focused on the house and helping her write her stories.
My mother's dying process was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life, and I wrote this as a way of honoring her.
After my mother’s death on October 1, I returned to a house under renovation. There were men in the house all the time doing things or talking about doing things and not doing them when they said they would. It was far from being a space in which I could drop down and grieve.
I had to carry on however, without the alone time I needed, if I wanted the house to be finished. This was simply not easy, for so many reasons, and yet, I felt a kind of devotion to the cause. Have you ever wondered, when the process is difficult, if the message is to push on or to simply let go? Determination or patience?
I wanted my home to feel like a temple. I wanted Kali to be the guardian of the temple. Everything was simply not working, and I became more and more frustrated with the process.
I allowed myself plenty of space in which to feel my true feelings, balanced with managing so many different characters to do tile, electric, plumbing, cabinetry…… As I felt into my new life without my mom, it helped to hang this magnificent painting of her spiritual essence in the healing room—the first room fully set up in the house.
Frustration is the experience of needs not being met, and I had a boatload. What were my needs? That the people I hire would communicate clearly and make good on what they say. That I receive invoices and have a sense of where I stand.
What would I say to a client in such a situation?
It was that kind of time, where I questioned and questioned and wondered what I could do differently. When a therapist asks herself what she would say to a client, she knows she is in her own shadow territory.
I went back to basics, and asked myself what it was that I truly wanted? What was I willing to do, without complaining, to get that to happen?
To be good for your word
I did what was necessary and hired someone good for his word. I let go of having hope in someone who kept showing me that he was not. It is so powerful when we can say about another human being that they are “good for their word.” It means a total change of trajectory!
I wanted to be completely done by the end of 2021, so that I could enter 2022 with my full attention on the cause of a creation I have held in my mind and heart for some time now.
I made a total attitude adjustment from frustration to “YOU GOT THIS!”
The good news is that the house has come together, and the final work was done while I have been here in Portland. I carried the vision of this and so many things in my innermost heart for a long time, and always believed they would come true. I co-created a temple in which beauty, and love and peace and healing abound.
That is how we must live with unbending faith in the power of creation. We must be able to devote ourselves to our own vision. We must find those who can support us in this!
The laws of creation have changed
Have you noticed that old ways of seeing and doing things are falling away more readily—not necessarily more easily—as the new laws of creation organically show us the way we need to proceed, and clarity of intention is unleashed in manifestation. Often instantly!
The key is to carry the vision of what you want with powerful and constant positive intent—and best of all, with the intent to
benefit others besides yourself. We can no longer create lives of abundance and bliss from negative or selfish emotional states. We can only create what we want from a place of love.
And it really is up to us what we manifest.
One sure way to determine that it will be what we really want
is to claim your power as a co-creator. No, this has nothing to do with politics, but with how we show up in our lives.
Resolutions will fall flat eventually, (apparently 80% fail) because they come from our thoughts and are fueled by inner “shoulds” that have nothing to do with our happiness and fulfillment. They don’t deal with the counter-intentions, often on a deep sub-conscious level, that go directly against what we say we want.
The old model of DO HAVE BE —-do more exercise to have a better figure to be more attractive—-has been flipped on its head by the new energies of creation, that call us to go directly to how we want to be. The BE HAVE DO model is about tapping into how we want to BE, so that we HAVE the joy and energy to DO what we know we need to do. We begin with the end result.
Word for the year
One of the best ways to activate what you really deeply want in your life at this time of year is to choose a word for the year. You choose one word—only ONE, not 2 or 3 or more to confuse the Universe with your lack of clarity—-but ONE word. It becomes a touchstone so that you come back to it over and over as you make decisions on the path of your life.
A word contains energy and images and meaning, which activates our hearts, minds and souls. There is power in a word. This word can become your superpower in 2022, shining light on the darkness that must be released for you to realize its fullness.
Choosing your word is often very natural. You can do it right now, if a word has not already come to you. Here are a few:
Freedom Grace Effortless Courage Health Love Kindness Mastery Trust Maverick Hero Self-love Patience Humility Growth Focus Integrity Prosperity Creativity Power Gratitude Play Acceptance Juicy Wild Truth Generous
Let a word come to you now.
My word for this year is DEVOTION. For me, devotion takes intention and attention to the soul level, as it requires love to fuel its full power. I intend to increase my capacity for devotion in all I do, so that I have great connections and experiences and do the things that will allow my life to thrive. When I come up to certain moments where I could choose to act from a place of devotion, or from a place of frustration or annoyance, I will consciously choose devotion.
The word DEVOTION will be a guiding energy all this year, as I devote myself to healthy practices for my body and become devoted to eating in a way that increases my life force and supports my dharma.
Your word may often teach you through paradox and contrast. If your word is abundance and you find that you have less money than ever, it doesn’t mean that you chose the wrong word. You must choose abundance (BE Abundance) regardless of circumstances, and you will be living true to your word and eventually, the circumstances will change to match your vibration.
If your word is courage and you fail to get out of your comfort zone and exercise courage in a certain area of your life, you will learn. Your word teaches you. The lack of alignment can inspire you to take mindful action.
2022 is anyone's guess at this point. We were all so jazzed about 2020 and being able to see more clearly. 2021 rolled around, and the wreckage has mounted on many fronts. We need a code to live by that transcends masks and vaccines and any other promise that can lead to frustration of needs and desires.
There has never been a time to entirely embrace our roles as co-creators as NOW. There is nowhere to look for salvation “out there.”
This awesome poem just came in from someone named Vassantara. I pas
What is the forecast for tomorrow? – LOVE.
What is the square root of 11,644? – LOVE.
Does my bum look this big?- LOVE
If the chemo doesn’t work how long have I got?- LOVE
What the hello do you think you are doing?- LOVE
What’s the main factor driving inflation?- LOVE
Do you love me?- LOVE
Perhaps I'm taking this to literally
But since love became the answer
All my questions
Have disappeared
Like stars at sunrise
My heart is a giant paintbrush
Turning everything golden
And oak trees wave
In recognition as I pass.
Well that’s all very fine,
But life isn’t really that simple, is it? – LOVE
~
Here is to love and filling our capacity to know it, feel it, express it, heal from it. Pass it on. It’s free
So let’s welcome 2022 and step off into the unknown fortified with the power of a word containing your devotion that can be your guiding light, turning over a new leaf of possibility.
