I“If you’re interested in ‘balancing’ work and pleasure, stop trying to balance them. Instead, make your work more pleasurable.” Donald Trump
I never imagined I would quite Donald Trump, but then again, the Donald is having a good time doing what he does best and making millions doing it. He has it right here—–that feeling pleasure is key.
Balance—-some imagined ideal state of perfect equilibrium—–is just not what it is about. Many aspire to it, some say it is impossible, and most don’t even care.
I committed to a blog challenge 3 days ago and I missed yesterday. I was committed from 6:30 am until an unforeseen adventure in the evening. There was no way….or rather…..I chose fun over the writing of the blog.
Some would say my adventure was worth not getting all the work done I had planned. Others would say I got off track.
I say it was all an experiment that turned out just great. And I did not write the blog I had promised I would.
What do we do in these instances? We have an intention, and then, life takes over. Let me share about yesterday.
I began the day at 5:30 with coffee and meditation. Off to a 6:30 am Toastmaster’s meeting. Back to walk the dog and make a green smoothie, then off to a networking meeting.
Lunch is a “working” lunch with my mastermind buddy, then to my place to help a friend of a friend open a file on my Mac that she cannot on her PC.
Off I go to Lake Oswego to get haircut and color, picking up messages on the way, since there had been no time before then. My calendar says “Hair—4-5.”
I finally check my voicemail messages and hear, “You had a 9:30 am appointment, and it is 9:45, Did you forget? Please call.”
Holy shit!!! Something was screwed up. It is 4/5, and I thought the appointment was from 4-5. Ugh! I realize the mix-up. I call, but he has left the shop. I had waited 3 weeks for that appointment, and I am going away next week. He says he can get me in 12 days from today.
Big disappointment!!!!! I feel sad. I lose my balance big time.
I stop and think about the fact that I have a choice. I wanted the pleasure of a haircut and color. Any woman over a certain age can relate to that pleasure of being transformed to feel more beautiful.
I pull over and park my car. I ask myself what I want to feel. I want to feel happy, pleasure. It is Friday afternoon, and I worked hard all week. I have so much to do, but right now, I want to feel light and happy.
I walk into a clothing store and ask if the woman knows of a good salon in the area. Indeed she does, has been going there for 11 years, and hands me their card. I drive up the road and turn into a hidden spot where the salon is still open. There are no openings at the moment, but the gal puts me on the phone with Danny, who is available tomorrow morning. I thank my lucky stars.
Now what? I had no plans since I had thought I would be having my hair done. I have so much to do.
I stop and ask myself what I want to feel. There it is again. I want to feel pleasure. There is a world class wine shop nearby, and I decide to go in. There is the weekly Friday evening wine tasting, and the place is lively and filled with smiling people drinking really good wine, eating snacks, and chatting loudly.
I ask a single woman my age if she has been here before. She invites me to sit down and says she is waiting for a blind date. We hit it off and she asks if I will stay and check him out. Of course I will. We are sisters.
I will make the long story of the evening a shorter version. It was one of the most delightful evenings of my life. The blind date was a gem of a man, and he brought his well-worn Tarot Deck and we had a blast! We were 3 peas in a pod, as they say.
We all three head to Terry's house nearby, where we eat delicious Thai food and talk until the wee hours, as our souls were so overjoyed to have found one another
I felt such pleasure, and when I went to sleep last night, I realized that this pleasure, this joy in being alive and giving myself over to the joy of the moment is what I want to feel when I work in my business. When I allow these kind of experiences into my life, I can tap into the joy and pleasure that is my basic nature. Then, when I have to do the hard stuff in my business, I can bring a sense of pleasure more easily into the experience.
I am exercising the muscle of pleasure, rather than the muscle of avoidance of pain. I see the value in stepping back from the undending “to do list” that every entrepreneur has, and giving myself over to spontaneity, which always increases my creativity. Almost all of the choices we make in our daily life are motivated by one of two powerful forces. The more powerful of these is the desire to avoid pain, and the second is the desire for pleasure.
Avoidance of pain often leads to things not getting done, but going for pleasure is a far more energized state of being. You can, for instance, see getting a certain challenging task done as bringing you pleasure, thus shifting the Pain-Pleasure paradigm to support you fulfilling an obligation.
The real balancing act is the dance between the pain and pleasure of life. It is a dynamic state, like the various standing balancing poses in yogo, where thousands of muscle fibers are firing to keep you steady in tree pose. You are anything but static—-more like a willow than an oak.
The master Abraham says, “When you get hold of an idea, play it out for the pleasure in it. If you are doing it for any other reason, then you are not connecting to your Source Energy.”
I know that I want to be connected to Source Energy in my business and in my life. If it means going for pleasure, so be it. I am in. I believe it is the key to balance.
And now I will post this blog, since I let myself have an experience that is worth sharing.
What a pleasure!
What a great experience you’ve had. Thanks for sharing it. There is much to be said about living in the moment and enjoying it and you did just that. We’re often so set in our ways to keep all our appointments and stay with the familiar that we often miss the fun on the way. I’m inspired to “live a little” a bit more often. 🙂
I always say I have intentions rather than plans. This allows for flexibility in my life and leads to less disappointment, hardly any in fact. I can’t be disappointed when I have no expectations. Like you I would choose fun first 🙂
Refreshing! I really enjoyed your take on putting balance in your life. I love it when people “see” things in a different light! This blog now has me thinking of ways to make my life more “pleasant” and help others with this, too!