Site icon Kathleen Hanagan

Should I Leave or Should I Stay?

One of the most challenging situations a human being can face is whether to end an intimate relationship. No sincere person enters into a committed partnership with another person unless there is some hope of fulfilling the commitment, or vow, thus making the subsequent ambivalence deeply painful.

Sitting on the fence is wrought with loss, either way. You step onto one side of the fence, and lose what is on the other side, and the same happens if you make the other choice. You weigh so many things—how it affects children, family, finances, the rest of your life. You can even get lost in the details as a distraction from the pain you feel, and your heart tends to be very contracted.

Ambivalence can be a prison, where your mind relentlessly paces the polarizing halls of reason, when the true answer lies within, often deep within, as a kind of knowing that has no language but love. It is a knowing that embraces nuance and truth. To arrive at this knowing, 3 things are necessary:

Sometimes you will know in your body, with a kid of “gut” feeling that is usually in the belly, and also in the heart space, or both. The gut has millions of nerve cells, making it almost a mind of its own! The actual signals come from the brain, but the nerve cells in your gut play a part in your emotion and intuition.

Sometimes the knowing is as if it’s in your soul. You keep asking “what would love do?” instead of “should I leave or should I stay?” When this happens, whether you stay or you go, you uphold your vow to love, no matter how the other person reacts. You step out of the darkness of ambivalence into the clear light of your soul. You move toward your future without regret and doubt, because you listened to that still small voice within.

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