“My family is my strength and my weakness.”
Aishwarya Rai Bachchan
The desire for a happy family is a primal longing, which you are either in touch with, or have forsaken, because for some, it is too painful to want what they never had.
Maybe you had it at one time, and then the family “fell apart,” through death or divorce or addiction. Maybe you are an only child and have longed for the incomparable connection of a sibling.
It is our birthright, written in our genetic code, to carry the legacy of creation. Each of us is a master creator of our own universe, and the code we have to work with is what we receive by being part of a family.
Each of us belongs to a family soul, which is the morphogenetic field of our family, and we are bound to our family system by a deep need to belong. A child will do anything for the love of a parent. This bond begins before birth and we are all born into a family that goes back generations.
We are born into an active story that was being told at the time of our birth. We are given a name and become a part of the living story of our family that unfolds over time with many many dramas, and we become a player in those dramas, whether we choose to or not.
The family soul exists in the quantum realm —the place where energy is both particle and wave, and is the place where time/space are one, and multidimensional healing can take place. The family soul consists of parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, possibly great grandparents……ex-spouses can be a part of the family soul—anyone who exerts an ongoing influence in our lives.
In the silent language of the soul, each of you as a child told yourself whatever you needed to so that you could remain connected to your family soul. tweet
Bert Hellinger, the German psychotherapist who founded Family Constellations, says, “Acting in the service of our need to belong, conscience bonds us to the persons and groups necessary of our survival regardless of the conditions they set for our belonging.”
This belonging and these connections are a source of strength when the energy within the family system is clear and love flows. However, when there is an interruption in the flow of energy, or what is called an entanglement, the family system and each individual in the system, is potentially weakened. No member of that family will be able to fully access the energy and strength that should flow through the generations as support, into the present generation.
Mother, one who gives life and nurtures
Father, one who creates and protects
Sister, one who loves from the heart
Brother, one who serves from the heart
The lack of development or distortion of these essential energies in our lives affects the way we treat ourselves and the people in our lives. It affects how we step boldly to find our place in the world, or we hang back and suffer the heartache of not living full out as we deeply want to.
This energetic field of the family souls transcends the living to include those who have died. Everyone belongs in a generational family system, dead, still born, aborted, or those who for whatever reason are excluded. And everyone has their own place in the order of the system. The first born child takes first place, then the second born, and so on. Even if the first born child died soon after birth, and the other children in the family were never told – this child is still the first born, and needs to take the place in the family as the first born child.
Emotional cutoffs are often unavoidable, but they do have consequence for everyone in the family soul. If Uncle Fred never comes around any longer, it is better to include him in the story of the family, so that his absence is not experienced unconsciously.
The whole family system and each individual in the system will be impacted by those who are not included, or who remain invisible. There is a restoration of balance and justice to the family soul when there is an acknowledgment of these members of the family, and other members will be able to once again feel the energy and love within the system, that now has a way to flow.
There is a huge disruption to the family soul when divorce happens in most cases, and the innocent children suffer most. It doesn’t have to be that way if a couple remain kind and connected and sharing in the raising of the children. The child does not need to experience a deep tear in its own soul as it attempts to mend something it didn’t break. Parents doing their healing work with each other is some of the most important work that can be done in this world.
Take a moment and imagine you are standing in front of your parents, with their parents behind them, and back and back and back. Each and every one of them lived in service to the same life, to continue to pass the gift of life on until you were born.
No matter what has happened, you can lean back and feel the support of all your ancestors, and say to them, “I accept the gift of life from you. Thank you. I have the fullness of life through you, and I have everything I need to live and pass it on.”
Lean back and feel the support of all your ancestors.
Our liberation comes when we are able to accept life exactly as it is passed to us. tweet
Now look forward to future generations and see that you are a link in passing on life—the Mystery experiencing itself through you and being experienced by you.
You are your ancestor’s dream, and the dream is where the love got through.
